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We went to the woods to go camping,
Just me and a buddy named Lance;
And while we had napped after fishing,
A porcupine moved-in my pants.

Whenever I try to remove them,
Before she hurts something quite dear,
She snickers a porcupine snicker
And needles the end of my rear.

I jiggle and jerk as she pricks me,
And holler so loud it's a roar,
And when I try begging for mercy
She chuckles and pokes me some more.

Now something just happened that's awesome,
But I won't be jumping for joy,
'Cause she just became a new mother
Of four prickly girls and a boy.

--William Shakespeery




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